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Do you want to hear a racist joke?Donald Trump.What do a thong and Donald Trump’s hair have in common?They both barely cover an asshole.What’s Donald Trump’s favorite chewing gum?Bigly Chew.Donald Trump steps out onto the White House lawn in the dead of winter. Right in front of him, on the White House lawn, he sees “Donald Trump sucks!” written in urine across the snow.Well, he’s pretty annoyed about this so he storms into his security staff’s headquarters, and yells, “Somebody wrote an insult in the snow on the front damn lawn! And they wrote it in urine! Whoever did it had to be standing right on the porch when he did it! Where were you guys?!”The security guys stay silent and stare ashamedly at the floor.Trump hollers, “Well dammit, don’t just sit there! Get out and find out who did it! I want an answer, and I want it tonight!”The entire staff immediately jump up and race for the exits.Later that evening, his chief security officer approaches him and says, “Well Mr. President, we. It was a Border Collie and it was off to the left of the gate I had entered into the field. Further back was a man, just standing and looking in my general direction. He was so small due to distance, as not to be an immediate threat, in fact the dogs barking was more voluminous than their physical presence.The urgency of my immediate needs to finish what I was doing, made their presence an extra titillation, being caught doing something like this put an extra edge, that most girls find as a sexual accelerator when masturbating, so I laid my head back onto the grassy ground and I proceeded masturbating with more urgency. The barking became more incessant and slightly annoying, so I stopped again and looked. This time I did have cause for genuine concern, he was at the gate where I had entered, and the dog had sniffed out my pile of clothes, he was now holding and looking up the hill directly at me, thought still a good ways off, he clearly saw me, now I could see he was looking.
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